Umm I'm too high to move.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize