That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
