just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
