I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
