That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
