I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize