I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
