I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
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I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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