Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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