Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize