He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
