The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
