long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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