my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
