cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
