College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
