Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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