Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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