He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
