The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
