He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
