My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
