I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
