Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
