The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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