Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
