the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize