i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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