If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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