what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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