I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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