it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
