Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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