You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
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remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
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I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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