Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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