i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
40s are totally the cure
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
