"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
