We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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