her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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