1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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