JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
