I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
smell my finger.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
