so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize