You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
