So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize