just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
