idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
