you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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