no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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