I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
