$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
home. puking in laundry basket.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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