i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i wish my penis had a tongue
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
