I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
