porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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