So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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