2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
