Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Randomize
