Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
